A lot of women today are in abusive marriage and despite the pain and emotional trauma they go through they find it difficult to leave the marriage. One of the reason some of these women have given for remaining in the abusive marriage is their children, according to them they can’t leave their kids behind. Hence, they keep enduring the pains and abuse from their husband. Is their excuse valid? Is it right for a woman to remain in an abusive marriage because of her kids?
The answer is a capital NO! The truth is that you are causing your kids more harm by remaining in an abusive marriage. You expose your kids to an abusive environment which might later affect them in the future. What kids needs most is a thriving environment filled with love and care and not the reverse. You need to ask yourself would your staying back provide this environment for your kids.
Moreover, in your present mental state you would not be able to give the best of yourself to your kids. As you go through trauma, pain and depression there is no way you can give the kids the love they deserve, so what exactly have you derived from staying in an abusive marriage? You can only give what you have, which means you can only love and care for your kids if you are mentally stable.
There is no way your mental health can be stable if you continue to stay with your abuser, if care is not taken you might end up losing your sanity. So you need to be at a good place mentally before you can truly take care of your kids. The best way to heal from your pain, trauma, depression and be mentally stable is to move away -far away from your abuser.
Your happiness should be your piority because when you are happy you can transmit this to your children regardless of if you are staying in a different place from them. Staying together with your abuser for the kids sake is meaningless if the environment is not filled with joy and happiness for the kids. Infact your kids will thrive better if you are happy and parent them from outside the abusive environment.
Furthermore, have you thought of what will happen to the kids if you lose your life in the hands of your abuser. You are only putting your life at risk and also jeopardizing the future of your kids by staying back. It is not a wise decision to remain in an abusive relationship regardless of the reason.