In marriage , no one knows you better than your spouse. Your spouse is in the best position to tell you the truth about yourself. There is an adage in Yoruba culture in Nigeria that says when two siblings come out of the room laughing they haven’t told themselves the truth but when two siblings come out of the room frowning at each other, they have told each other the truth. Your spouse is in the best position to tell you about yourself , give you a positive criticism and help you make necessary correction.
Are you the kind of spouse that can’t be corrected, does your spouse get afraid to tell you about your negative attitudes ? Is he or she afraid to confront you because of the way you will react? Do you start a fight, quarrel or scream when corrected by your spouse? Do a soul-searching of yourself , what would be your answer to the above questions. If you want to have a successful marriage , you need to be humble, always ready to accept constructive criticism from your spouse and make the needed adjustment. Good communication in marriage makes it easy for you and your spouse to be open to each other. For instance how would you feel if your spouse tells you that you have a bad breath, how would you react? Would you be angry with your spouse , be ashamed , pick up a fight with your spouse or would you be grateful that your spouse pointed this out to you saving you the embarrassment from outsiders.
If you see your partner as an extension of yourself, you will never be angry or ashamed when you are being corrected and you will not also make it difficult for your partner to approach you. Haughtiness they say comes before a fall, to avoid falling in marriage be very humble, be approachable. Don’t be the kind of spouse that is known by everyone to be jovial , friendly , approachable with a good sense of humor outside but when you get home you become a lion. How does your spouse feel when you are at home? does your spouse prefer you not being at home because of your attitude so that he or she can experience peace?
If you are the type of person that goes around most especially among your friends boasting of how you are in control of your spouse and how your spouse is so afraid of you and can never stand up to you, you need to be very careful as unknown to you , you are tearing down your home. Your friends may cheer you up and praise you for your attitude but are they themselves doing the same thing in their home? Well, even if your friends too are also doing the same thing in their home that doesn’t make it right. You and your spouse have become one, hence you should be each other’s best friend. You and your spouse must be open to each other, correct each other and accept each other’s mistakes . You both should enjoy each other’s company, have a humble attitude toward each other and respect each other’s feelings and opinion.
Never tease, joke or rant about your spouse negative attitude, In as much as you dislike the particular attitude in your spouse, you must approach the issue loving and respectfully so that you can achieve your aim of discussing about the issue with your partner. Never bring up the issue in public, among your friends or family members to avoid upsetting and embarrassing your spouse. Bring up such personal issues only when both of you are alone. Let your spouse know how this issue affects you personally and the benefits of adjusting and changing the attitude in question. It is not always easy for an individual to quickly accept their mistake and adjust, so even if your spouse does not seem to accept your observation and readjust do not get upset and get into a fight instead constantly talk to your spouse about it lovingly and respectfully and also reassure him or her of your love and with time your spouse will come around and change his or her attitude and become a better partner.