Marriage & You

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I remembered when I was young, I was ten at the time, I’ve heard my big sister’s friend saying she doesn’t want to get married, of course at that age it makes no sense to me. When I grew up she was still single not married but with a child and she hates marriage so much that she won’t stand anyone encouraging it even though she was still friends with my sister who was happily married. One day I decided to find out from my Big sister why her friend disliked marriage this much.

My sister said her mother suffered so much pain in the hands of her father, that she grew up seeing her mother being abused by a man she love. She watched her mother helplessly everyday as she was punched, beaten and verbally abused by her father. There and then she made up her mind never to get involved in the bondage called marriage. She is not alone in this believe, thousands of young men and women do not want to get married because of their personal experience or that of others. Some whom have witnessed one of their parents be treated badly in marriage, or have been heart-broken by their ex, would never give marriage a chance in their life. They believe that marriage is horrible and its filled with so much pain.
Others see it as bondage, especially the men they feel marriage will barricade them, their movement will be monitored and they will no longer be able to hang with the boys as often as they want.

Is marriage really bad? Is marriage for you? marriage was instituted by the creator, it was meant to be a union where the man loves the woman, he’s faithful to her and would stand by her regardless of the situation while the woman was supposed to be a helper who respects and submits to her husband . This was how the marriage institution was meant to be, it was supposed to be enjoyable and challenges lovingly discussed and handled.marriage was not suppose to be a battlefield, a bondage and a place filled with so much hate and distaste.
Dear friend, marriage itself it’s not the reason for the experience you’ve had or have seen or heard , rather it is the individuals involved in it that will always determine the outcome of a marriage.

The fact that your parents, friend, sibling or relative marriage did not work out does not mean yours can’t work out. It is wrong to generalize and believe because it didn’t work out for A it won’t work out for B. You and your spouse are  different individuals and can work together to have a successful marriage. You must know that some marriages fail because the couple married each other for a wrong reason, sometimes the marriage was started on a wrong foundation full of deceit and dishonesty and such marriage is bound to fail if the couples do not retrace their path quickly. No two marriages are the same, so never jump into conclusion that marriage is not for you. Choose your partner wisely, do not marry for wealth or beauty, search for the inner qualities of their partner that will stand the test of time.

Let go of your past experience in your marriage otherwise you will ruin both your present and future with your past. Do not be quick to judge your partner based on your past experience, be open and do not come with a biased mind to your relationship. Communicate more and most importantly follow the guideline in the marriage manual that was provided by the originator of marriage. Marriage is enjoyable and provides true companionship and those who have tasted it and have also followed the originators manual can testify to this, even with the challenges that comes with it, marriage still supersedes being single or being a single parent by choice.

10 comments

  1. i lived with my senior sister while growing up, I won’t say her marriage was rosy but I learnt a lot from her relationship and tried to avoid repeating some of the mistake she did in her relationship. So far so good , I give God the glory

  2. I also have a friend who find it very difficult to trust her husband because of her background, I have told her severally not allow her background to affect her relationship with her husband

  3. When I got married , I made up my mind that I will not let my husband treat me anyhow because of the way my mum was treated. My mum was so gentle Infact most time I get so angry as a child as I couldn’t understand why she tolerated my father’s excesses. I was quite aggressive with my husband . It got to a stage will almost separated, it was at that point my pastor started counseling me and I thank God today I am a changed person and I have learnt my lesson

  4. I think the best thing for anyone is that no matter your background, pick the good things from the past as already said in the article that no two marriage is the same

  5. My mother left my daddy when I was young but I was determined I won’t let my children go thru what I and my siblings went through. As I grew up I made up my mind that I must make my marriage work out

  6. It seems there is a curse in mother’s family as she and all her sisters got separated from their husband and the same thing happened to my two sisters, I am the only person that is still with my husband. I don’t joke with my prayer and fasting as its obvious there is a curse in the family

  7. I always tell my children, don’t judge your marriage based on others marriage, and never expect your spouse to treat you as your friends or neighbors spouse because each persons marriage.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of MyRegistryWedding.

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