I once came across a post online where a celebrity who was separated from her spouse was asking for advice on if she could date someone else. The truth is that a lot of people find themselves in this situation especially during a long separation without divorce in view. They begin to question how long more can they stay without having anyone else in their live.
Truly, separation can be a tough time for anyone. It is a period in a person’s life that they start to learn how to live the life of a single person. It also comes with the temptation of getting involved with someone else as loneliness is no one’s friend. However, if you are considering getting involved in a relationship during your separation with your spouse you might as well consider the reasons below before reaching a decision.
Reasons You Shouldn’t Date Someone Else During Separation From Your Spouse
- You Are Still Married: Yes! you read that right. You are still married to your spouse despite being separated. It is only divorce that ends your marriage and gives you the right to get involved in a new relationship. Any other relationship you are having during separation is adultery. Mind you your spouse can also use it against you in your divorce suit. Except you get divorced, separation is not the end of your marriage. Hence, you are still obligated to stay faithful to your spouse during separation.
- It’s A Time To Reflect On Your Marriage : Separation is a time to reflect on your relationship with your spouse. It’s a time to reflect on what led to you present situation of being separated. Separation affords you the opportunity to look at what you could have done differently or done better to keep your marriage together. It also gives you the opportunity to see if you are better off without your spouse in your life. However, jumping into another relationship will erode you of the opportunity to re-examine and re-evaluate your marriage objectively. You’ll become so invested in the new relationship that you’ll not objectively examine your marriage.
- You Can Get Emotionally Attached To Your Lover: Giving a new person a chance in your life might just be the end of your marriage. When you are involved with a new person chances are you would hardly consider going back to your spouse. Especially if the new relationship is serving all your needs and gives you all that your spouse couldn’t give you, you might as well zero your mind about going back to your spouse. This could be dangerous for your marriage. As the issues that led to your separation could still be resolved. However, with a new person in your life the chances of allowing the issue to be resolved becomes very low.
Moreover, how do you let your spouse know you cheated during your separation if you ever reconcile. It will only mean you were never a trustworthy person and the separation was only an opportunity for you to show your true self.
The Right Thing to Do During Separation
This is the time to exhibit a high self control over your s*xual urges. Since you are not divorced and can’t be involved in a relationship you need to be cautious around the opposite sex. Don’t allow situations that will make you fall into temptation.
Furthermore, draw closer to God during this time. Pray for guidance and the ability to take the right decision concerning your marriage. It is not a time to be gallivanting around with the opposite sex. This is a time for sober reflection and decision making concerning your marriage.
However, if you have met a new person whom you desire to spend the rest of your life with during your separation then do the right thing by ensuring you get a divorce. Ensure your marriage has legally ended before you start off the new relationship. This will ensure you are not bridging the contract of your marriage neither are you committing adultery.