It’s becoming a norm for men to cheat on their wife and women are gradually accepting it as their fate but you may have just discovered your husband cheated on you and you are going through emotional trauma and at the same time you are wondering if you should forgive him and what is the fate of your relationship.
Regardless of what anyone tells you only you understand the pain you are feeling as a result of the cheating. Hence, the decision to forgive or not to forgive is your sole decision to make. Some people may try to downplay it and tell you your situation is even better or tell you that almost all men cheat but my dear do not pay any heed to that nor allow anyone downplay your feelings.
Before I proceed on telling you whether you should forgive a cheating husband let me quickly clarify that your husband cheating on you can never be justified and that you are not the cause of his cheating. If he values your commitment, if he treasures your relationship, respects you, hold you in high esteem and love you he would never do it with another woman regardless of his reasons.
Cheating even though is being downplayed this days is not a trivial issue. It is something that can destroy the mental health of your spouse, it will destroy a relationship build for several years within the blink of an eyes. It can cause your spouse severe depression and even suic*dal thoughts. No man nor woman has the right to cheat on their spouse.
To further show that cheating isn’t a trivial issue, God condemns the marriage bed being defiled and warns that adulterers will not inherit his kingdom. Hence, if God sees it as a serious issue then do not let anyone downplay it for you or make you feel silly for being traumatized by it. You have the right to feel hurt as a result of it. Cheating is not acceptable in marriage and will NEVER be acceptable nor justified.
SHOULD YOU FORGIVE YOUR HUSBAND?
The sole decision to forgive your husband is totally up to you. People can advice you and make suggestions but at the end of the day it is you that will make the final decision. However, you need to consider the following factors before making your decision.
Is He Genuinely Remorseful : before you decide whether to forgive him or not, the first thing to note is his demeanor. Is he remorseful and sad about his actions and the pain he has caused you or is he trying to blame you instead for his action. If he is gaslighting you instead of being remorseful then just know that he will continue to cheat on you as he hasn’t seen anything wrong with what he has done.
Is He Willing To Talk About What Made Him To Cheat And How To Avoid It In The Future: is he willing to have a honest discussion where he bares it all to you about what led to his action and how he plans to avert it in the future. If he is not willing to have that discussion and just want you to brush everything under the carpet and move on, he is probably going to continue cheating on you as he is not interested in addressing what triggered his action and how to avert it.
Does He Genuinely Love You : When a man genuinely loves you, you will definitely know. He will always make you his topmost piority. He will make a lot of compromise for you. He will always desire to spend quality time with you. He will always open up his heart to you and hides nothing from you. Ask yourself is this the man he was and still is? Is he a great companion? Is he willing to retract his steps for the happiness of your relationship? All this you need to put into consideration before making your decision.
Is The Cheating a Mistake or A Norm : before considering whether to forgive him or not you need to consider if it was a mistake. Yes i do know that cheating can never be justified but being the imperfect humans we are sometimes the spirit might not be willing but the flesh will make the person to fall, so what has his track record being in the relationship? Does he have a clean slate? Is this the first time it’s happening and is he willing to talk about it or has cheating being a way of life for him and you’ve only been enduring?
These are some of the factors you need to consider before deciding but remember whether you decide to forgive or not to forgive you have done nothing wrong. Hence, let no one cowardice you into forgiving if you know that isn’t the best thing for you.
Also remember that atleast 90% of the time a cheater will always remain a cheater. Only a cheater can make the sole decision to turn a new leaf and be faithful.