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Years ago it was never disputed that it is a man’s responsibility to be the ‘breadwinner ‘ , he is to provide for the family while the woman stays back at home to take care of the household but this is less clear today,which is unfortunate. Today most men would not want to marry a woman without a job or financial income, sometimes you will hear men say they do not want to marry a liability, even if they decide to marry a lady without no financial income, their friends and family most time will not support the relationship but should this be the case?
In the beginning when the originator of marriage instituted the first marriage, the man was already given the job of taking care of the gardens and the animal, when he was given his wife this care was also to be extended her. He was to care and provide for his wife.Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a woman earning financial income but it should never be a yard stick for a man deciding whether to marry a lady or not. There is no doubt the economic situation presently has make it difficult for a man to bear the finances of the home alone but even at that a man should know that it is his primary responsibility to provide for his family.
Today, Majority of wives and mothers work outside the home,so that they could support their husband financially which is not bad in itself as a woman is meant to be a helper but a man should not make it compulsory or a do or die affair that the woman must earn income to support him. Worst still some men make their wife feel like a liability simply because she does not fall under the category of those that earn income while some men have made it compulsory for their wife to work and give them all that she earns even when the woman is not happy doing this. If the woman out of her own free will decides to give you her whole income good and fine but a man must not demand for this forcefully.
Do not share the financial burdens equally with your wife, knowing that it is your primary responsibility to provide for the home, remember she is only a helper and as such the burden should not be shared equally or left totally for her. Always appreciate her for her financial support, this would spur her to do more. There is not wrong with your wife depending on you but you can encourage her to become financially independent but never make it a do or die affair. Remember that the success of your marriage depends on each of you performing your marital roles properly. Love your wife even when she is not supporting financially,give her the respect she deserves as she might not be contributing financially but she is doing a great job taking care of you,your home and the children.
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19 Replies to “Is It Wrong For A Man To Marry A Lady With No Finacial Income”
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I so much love this topic, my sister’s fiancé called off the relationship because she lost her job, he started by being cold and then finally called it off just imagine
I work so hard and barely have time for my family, my husband does little and look up to me to take of the bills. I have always discussed with him that he has to get something tangible doing but he is so relaxed because am footing the bills.
My fiancé always complains that his friends girlfriend is a liability because she does not work, I work and earns fat salary perharps that is why he is sticking to me, this has got me thinking
Most men this days are looking for well to do ladies to marry, they are lazy and do not want to work
My sisters husband both share the finances equally , I have told my sister severally that It is wrong but she told me not to interfere In her family. I don’t understand why the husband can’t handle most of the responsibility even though he had a well paid job
What was stated in the article reminds me of the days when I was still married, my husband forcefully demanded for my salary, it was like a slave trade. This continued for years till I made up my mind and left him. He doesn’t work, he sleeps at home and wait for my salary.
I run my home , I take care of things that needs to be done and I have a lovely wife who supports when there is need for it.
I have left three guys now when I discovered they were only after my money
The moral decadency in the world today is primarily because of misplaced roles in the family, in the days of my mum, mothers stayed at home to train the children and then there was morally trained adults with high standard of behavior and morals, fast forward to this day and all we see is almost all mothers working in order not to be seen as a liability by their husband and what do we have for this, I’ll mannered adults who have lost all manners of decency, no decorum, half baked adults that are not ready for the real world. So many broken marriages. It is time for men to think, they need to get out of the liability era and be man enough to face their God given responsibility so that our mothers can go back to their God given roles to take care of the home and the children.
I think my own story is different because my husband had to stop me from working after we married so I can take care of the children. He said he does want nanny to take care of his children. Though he has been taking care of the bills properly and even gives me money regularly for
My monthly upkeep even without asking , I still yearn to go back to work. It’s just frustrating staying at home
My husband hardly appreciates all the effort I put in to make the house clean, take care of our four kids. Anytime I asked for money for the family house keep, he will say do I know how to make money , all I know it’s just to be collecting. I hurt each time he says it. I have already started looking for job and I have just been called for an interview. I will shock him, leave the children at home and go to work too and make money, let him sort out the children. I really don’t know why some men behave like this.
The day men stop referring to non working wives as liability , the world will be a better place
Well Azuka, if women yould stop BEING liabilities ( that is : have only privileges but zero doties ) and insteald would also take responsibilities just like men and men also have rights and not just duties and responsibilities, then, see, THEN all that would no longer be true and absolutely no problem.
If you want to get completely exploited, parasited upon and end as a broken, poor slob while ure ex-wife leeches still of you while your lying on your death bed, then YES; then thats absolutely the right thing to do !
I’m a bit disappointed that this article exists in this manner.
Here’s my take on the issue – Don’t generalise. Don’t make your problem, or your opinions the standard that everyone else should conform to?
I saw this title and i came here expecting an intellectually stimulating take on the issue but I came here, and to start with the first paragraph just made me sad. I took the pains to read the rest hoping there was some caveat and i found that this was just a ridiculous piece.
Yes, i’m one of the guys that won’t marry a lady who has no source of income, or no prospects at all to start with. No (AND THIS IS IMPORTANT), I don’t expect everyone to think like me, or to conform to this. Why? Because it’s my personal preference. When you write such a public article, you should expect people to take it like they would an advice column, the person speaking knows what he or she is saying and can give respectful thought lines for managing these situations, an the disclaimer indirectly says the article is approved by My Registry Wedding…So, people will take it at face value, as is displayed in the comments.
Men are to be the breadwinners. This is debatable, especially in the way households are in this modern age. There should be nothing wrong with a man being a house husband, or a wife being a house wife, if that is what works for those directly involved. There is no standard. Both the man and the woman are coming together to be partners, it’s not a hostile takeover. It’s two people coming together to be one, and how they become one is their choice.
Now to my opinion, and why I disagree. Many Nigerians are two-faced/two-mouthed. A lot of double standards around now. You want him to handle all the finances, and when he says he wants you to handle all the other duties, you cry feminism. Feminism, from the real understanding has been belittled by too many people, I’m just tired. But that’s story for another people. I want my wife to work as much as i want to share the house duties with her. I want us to discuss our income together and know what works best for our family dynamics. I want her to be incredibly smart, and be a woman in her own right. She should be able to stand up to any man, because she owes no one anything and depends on herself and no one else. I won’t use the liability word, but I definitely won’t want someone who is at home all day, even if she’d doing the chores; We’ll share that, we’ll manage it together, we’ll assign duties, and hold each other responsible. But provide too. Let’s be breadwinners together.
Again, this is my view. I don’t expect everyone to agree to this, or for it to apply to everyone. But if you are going to post an article like this, make sure not to generalise and to indicate that this is the view of the writer, and it’s what works for them, and people should not see it as the standard.
I’ve said way too much.
I don’t understand why we make a lot of noise over nothing. I have been married for eight years and my wife has never worked for one day. I grew up not seeing my mother work , she was a stay at home mum , my father insisted she should stay at home to take care of us , am not trying to make me and my siblings look perfect but the truth was we stood out from every other children. My mothers worth was not in her working, everyone that came across my mother respected her, she was a woman of strong character, her confidence was second to none , she could stand up to anyone and was respected by all . She imbibed this character into us. We grew up believing that our worth is not determined by our financial or employment status. From when I was young I made up my mind I was going to follow suit and imitate my father. My father wasn’t even as financial stable as I was . I have no regret stopping my wife from working after our marriage and for the past eight years. My kids are well trained and tops the class in their academics. My wife is a woman of strong character just like my mum, she is very confident and can stand up to any one. I also made sure I made necessary plans which she aware of Incase of any thing happens . One’s man meat is another man’s poison. This is the way I choose to run my family and honestly I see nothing wrong if a man decides to marry a non working woman. It all depends on one you want. Your piority , your goal, your focus and much importantly your background. I and my wife loves each other and respects this decision . Let me also say she is the most hardworking woman and very intelligent person have ever come across
See it all depends on the couple, like me my wife works but if I have my way I would want her to stay at home and take good care of my children but unfortunately the economy is not smiling. If she ever brings up the idea I would never buy into it. We need the whole kobo both of us can get.
It depends on individual preference , today a lot of things have changed , things are no longer what they are defined to be and we have to move along with what is happening in our own time. My wife was working when I married her she worked I think for 2 years after marriage but we were having child issue. She keeps on having miscarriage ad her job was so demanding. I had to tell her to stop as somethings are more important than others. So after staying at home for a year she had a baby , I still insisted she stays back and take care of the baby. Now we have 3 children by God’s grace and the first child is in secondary school. I told her she can work now if she wants but she said she wants to work for herself so she can have time for the kids which I agreed with her. So now she does office supply and most times she is at home, the days she has to be out , she dosent rush out early in the morning . I prefer it this way.
I definitely agree with the writer , my grandmother never worked, my mother never did. It is very true that women never worked in the olden days they stayed at home and took care of the family but things are changing this days. The truth is that most of us men would actually love our wives to stay at home but the economy won’t and also even today’s women might not accept what we can offer without them working to add their own to have the standard of living they want.