Today, I heard the following quote by Ruth Graham Bell, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” What a wise saying! Every married couple should have this cross stitched and hung in their bedrooms or embroidered on their pillows! So many marital problems come down to forgiveness issues. Let’s face it: we are prideful creatures. We don’t like to admit we are wrong and we certainly don’t like continuously admitting we’re wrong when we don’t see our spouse doing the same. After all, why should we keep being the one to apologize? Why should we have to humble ourselves and feel weak when our spouse does not return the humility? Doesn’t apologizing all the time make me a doormat? It is crucial to understand the importance of forgiveness in a happy marriage. It is natural to feel that way, but it simply isn’t true. It does not take strength to hold onto anger. It takes strength to let go of it.
There are different ways of apologizing: one way is the doormat way. This is when you apologize constantly, for everything, whether you did anything wrong or not. This is the kind of apologizing that happens when someone accidentally hits you in the face with a door and you apologize for being in the way. Then, there is the other kind of apologizing, which is admitting that you were wrong, specifying what you did wrong, and asking for forgiveness. This is the kind of apology that takes strength.
“Forgiveness is a key element in healthy marriages. Forgiveness is the oil that lubricates a love relationship, and it’s an oil we need daily. Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s an attitude of wanting to partner with your spouse in spite of his or her imperfections and irritations” (David and Claudia Arp).
“Any relationship of humans will have problems because humans are problems. A fundamental truth is that every marriage experiences pain and heartache. Due to sinful human nature, ‘fumbling’ in a marriage is ordinary and commonplace. Hence, misunderstandings and disagreements are unavoidable and inevitable even in healthy, satisfying marriages.
“The simple truth is that spouses do things they should not do and neglect to do things they should do. In a marriage, normal problems occur because no couple ever communicates perfectly, resolves all disagreements harmoniously or achieves ideal emotional closeness. Unfortunately, the most serious hurts typically happen within the context of close interpersonal relationships, creating a tragic irony of being hurt by and of hurting those who are loved most deeply. When wrongs or sins are not healed by prompt apologies and forgiveness, a couple may drift apart, experience relationship deterioration and perhaps be in danger of dissolution.
Whoa! Nice writeup
Forgiveness is an expensive gift and only few can genuinely give it
It’s easier said than done, all these our wayward men even when you forgive them they still go back to cheat again
Well as for me I forgive easily but sometimes I just wish I don’t cos people just take one for granted
My best friend snatched the man I love most in my life. I can never forgive her
It’s not everything that can be forgiven , I caught my fiancé on the bed with another man. How do I forgive such. No way
@dimeji how you can you forgive what, you can you say you haven’t cheated on her . It’s easier for the woman to forgive abi?
Forgiveness is very important in marriage, couples should learn to forgive freely
Why is it that women forgive more easily than men
I just discovered that my boyfriend have been lying to me from day one about everything and I love him so much. So confused whether I should forgive him
I have always tried my best to forgive anyone that offends me and I realize it makes me feel better . It’s s healthy therapy
There was a colleague of mine, we were very close but unknown to me she was backbiting me until she was exposed. I kept malice with her for 1 year but during that period anytime I see her my heart beats fast and I became angry. I prayed to God to help me forgive her so I can heal. Honestly when I forgave her , I realized it was myself I punished the whole while. There is nothing like forgiveness
Forgiveness is not easy o but it’s good
When ever I forgive my husband honestly he takes me for a ride but when I don’t he pampers me and try to make me happy