How To Deal With A Change In Your Spouse Appearance


Weight loss


The first time you met your spouse perhaps what caught your attention first was his  or her appearance. He was a slim guy, with no protruding belly or she was a size 10 lady who dresses well , looked neat and attractive. All these caught your attention even before you knew his or her character. You were happy and showed him or her off before your friends as Mr or Miss cute.

Now after years of marriage what happens ? Mr cute becomes mr pot belly and miss cute becomes Mrs fat, big belly , Christian mother hand and so forth. She is no longer your cute size 10, perhaps she now size 18 or even 22 , how do you deal with this?


I have heard of a case where a man hardly takes his wife out on occasion because he is ashamed of how fat his wife has become and frequently makes up stories when he is asked about his wife at occasions but should this be the case? Is it right to be ashamed of your spouse appearance ? should you keep quiet and put up with the change in your spouse’s appearance? Please note that the appearance we are dealing with in this article does not include changes caused by accident or health issues. We are talking about changes that occurs due to excessive weight gain or obesity which your spouse can control.

First let me say that before we address this, remember the vow you took on your wedding day that regardless of the situation you will love your spouse and be with him or her , which means you have no right to despise or be ashamed of your spouse because of their physical appearance. Haven said that does that mean you have to keep quiet and accept your fate? Well if the weight gain has gotten to the extent that you can’t stand your spouse appearance or your spouse appearance turns you off, even though you should not despise your spouse   you need not keep quiet about it, first because you love your spouse and excessive weight gain can lead to preventable health issues which  can claim the life of your spouse.
Secondly you need to speak out and help your spouse get into shape to forestall you falling into temptation with the opposite sex who looks fit just the way you wish of your spouse.
Thirdly the moment you are no longer attracted to your spouse, this will definitely affect your relationship and if not handled well and promptly, this  can lead to marital breakup.

Now that you know that you don’t have to keep quiet about a change in your spouse’s appearance, how do you now approach the issue without offending your spouse? You need to be extremely careful in the way you approach this matter in other not to hurt your spouse as this is a sensitive issue. Your spouse too perhaps might not be happy with f their excess weight gain, so do not rob it in on your spouse instead lovingly approach this issue, this might even require some efforts from your side such as making a personal schedule to work out and then lovingly asking him or her to join you while working out. You can also  come up with the idea of both of you trying out new food especially those you know that can help with weight control.

Look for opportunities to discuss about how to lose weight and keep fit  without it seeming as if your attention is focused on him or her. You know your partner better than anyone else, so if he or her is someone you can come out straight with, then lovingly have a heart to heart discussion with him or her about their weight gain, and how this affects you emotionally. Choose your words wisely , do not use words that will turn off your partners and make them sad. For instance don’t say : “Sweetheart you are too fat can’t you see how slim John’s wife is” Or “You eat too much, you need to cut down on what you eat before you won’t be able to pass through the room door” words like this can hurt your spouse and affect their self-esteem. Hence do not be in a haste to speak but rather speak with wisdom and lovingly to your spouse.

How To Help Out

You can get a treadmill or cycling machine in the house and make it fun for everyone in the house to workout on weekends, make your partner get involved and let your partner be in charge of noting down your weight while you do the same for your partner. When he or she is gradually loosing weight you should commend him or her this will make your partner to put in more effort.
You can also take a walk with your partner early in the morning or in the evening depending on which is convenient. In conclusion never tease , despise or make fun of your spouse because of their appearance, nor  keep quiet or decide to do nothing about it rather work together with your partner lovingly as a team and definitely you will help him or her keep fit and become attractive to you again.

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4 Replies to “How To Deal With A Change In Your Spouse Appearance

  1. My spouse that only if I insist he must have a night bath will almost get into a fight with me , I can even imagine sitting him down to tell him anything of that sort

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