During my quiet moment , this idea of 10 facts you should know if you are married came up to my mind and I felt that some marriage perhaps fail because they do not know this facts. After over a decade of being married and haven seen mistakes made by friends and family I came up with these list. Feel free to add more if you have any by leaving a comment , if you also disagree with any of these facts feel free to let us know why in your comment. Well like I always say in my Articles ” marriage is both a source of joy and tribulation” how you manage the tribulation part of it will determine the success or failure of your marriage. With this in mind my first fact is;
1. Marriage is not a Bed of Roses. The biggest mistake you can do is to expect your marriage to look like all the romance novels you have read or movies. The fact is most of those books and movies are far from reality.
2. Marriage is different from courtship. Yes we do advocate courtship before marriage, so that intending couples can understand each other better and be sure they are compatible before marriage, the truth is even if you court for 100years, marriage has its own surprises. Marriage comes with its own issues which can automatically change your partners character.
3. Don’t Be a Parrot in your Marriage. In as much as I advice that you should never keep a secret from your spouse, my dear friend you should know where to draw the line. Don’t go telling your partner about all your s3xual escapade before you got married. No partner especially men would be happy to know how different men slept with his wife, it affects them without you knowing it. So before you let the spirit of diarrhea catch your mouth please think again. Don’t jeopardize your marriage as those history is never needed and does your marriage no good.
4. Don’t expect Perfection from your Partner.I always advice that partners should be realistic in their expectations of each other . You can read more about it here in our previous post How Realistic are you with your partner. It is not wrong to have quite a reasonable expectation from your partner but when you start crossing the line and complain about everything your partner does then know that trouble is looming.For instance it is has become a trend now for married women to be very slim even slimmer than single ladies. Some women this day hardly even breastfeed their baby properly after delivery because as soon as they deliver they hit the gym and stop eating all the nutritious food that will help nourish their baby through breastmilk just to keep shape. Don’t get me wrong , I am not insinuating that it is wrong for a woman to be slim or keep fit but the way some women go about it this days is pathetic . Sometimes Men too contribute to this as they tend to start appreciating ladies with slimmer body thereby putting their wives under pressure , forgetting that this woman has bore you 4 or 5 children and yet you want her to look like a lady who hasn’t dropped any, that is being unrealistic in your expectation.
5. Never Compare Your partner To Anyone.
Please don’t ever make the mistake of comparing your partner to your Ex, your friends partner , your siblings partner or to anyone at all , if you must do so please let it be in your heart, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Never tell your partner to their face how another person’s partner is better than them, that is simply annoying and a slap on their ego,this could ruin your marital relationship.
6. Communicate When making love. This one is extremely important. Please don’t be fooled , gone are the days when a woman is meant to sleep like a log of wood on the bed and let the partner do everything or just keep quiet if she is not enjoying it. Never be ashamed or think that your man will think bad of you if you give him different styles on the bed , the truth is that is what men wants. Give him a BJ don’t be shy. If you don’t do it I bet you that those small little girls are waiting by the corner to help you out. So help yourself before they help you out. Learn to communicate during s3x, please don’t just keep quiet when the man isn’t touching the right place to make you be on cloud 9, speak out and enjoy it , it is your right.Sometimes most men just wants to get down to it, please if you need to be put in the mood first,let your partner know.
7. Be polite with your partner avoid YDSFS. This is another one that got me thinking. You know most couple most times suffer from YDSFS ( You Don See Me Finish Syndrome) you tend to take your partner for granted without knowing it.You talk and do to them the way you won’t do to someone else outside . Even your boss in the office will sometimes tell you some annoying thing but you will simply keep quiet but if it’s at home when your partner says something not even as much as that of your boss, YDSFS takes over you and you will say the unsayable and speak the unspeakable to your partner. Learn to be extremely polite and courteous in your dealings with your partner.
8. Men Love to Be pampered. If you don’t know this, you are on your own. Men loved to be treated specially, they want your attention , they need you to pamper them. I tell you if you know how to pamper your man, you will get whatever you want from him. Men are not difficult as many think, just treat them the right way and you will get what you want.
9. Don’t Fight your Spouse if they Cheat on you. Hehehe! Men and infidelity, did I just say men? Even women too this days are unfaithful , their unfaithfulness is on another level. Without being bias most unfaithfulness by women are caused by their husbands(my opinion though, you can disagree with me) whatever the reason for infidelity, it is totally unacceptable and a sin before God and man. Find out how to deal with an unfaithful partner in our previous post Infidelity in Marriage The Way Out. Well if your partner cheats on you and you don’t intend leaving the marriage, please don’t fight your spouse. As difficult as this may sound, try your best to show your partner more love, more care and attention and most importantly pray for him. If he has a conscience it won’t be long before he will feel guilty and retrace his path but if you fight him you will drive him deeper into the hands of his lover.
10. Don’t keep secrets that could Hurt your marriage. I heard not too long ago that there was a popular OAP who advised in her VBlog not to tell your husband if you’ve had abortion. Well I don’t know how true this is because I never heard it myself but please do not be deceived there are secrets that you should never keep from your partner, such as fertility issues, having a child out of wedlock , terminal illness and much more. You should be able to discern that such issues are weighty and can destroy your marriage, so you should never hide it from the onset. What you were trying to prevent might still happen when your partner gets to know later. Speak up before it’s too late. Never keep a secret that will affect or destroy your marriage. If your partner truly loves you he or she will forgive you and both of you will join hands and seek a solution to the problem .