What is fear? Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of hurt, danger or pain.
Hmmm, fear is an emotion, fear is an emotion. How exactly do emotions come about? Your emotions – that is the way you feel about something is a product of your mind-set and your memory.
The way you see a matter, the way you see a person, the way you see a situation, your interpretation of anything; how you think it should be and how you think it could be can actually trigger off all sorts of emotions, including fear. Your various emotions is a product of your judgements.
Dear friend no human is born with any form of emotion including fear. Emotions are produced based on expectations, perceptions and mind sets and these are a function of your judgement.
Every baby was taught judgement by its environment, experience and those who raised it. Some times when a toddler keeps attempting to touch a lantern or candle for instance, at times the care giver may allow that baby touch it and hurt, and from that experience the baby would learn to be afraid of fire. Dear friend, fear is learnt.
What we go through; the good, the bad, the ugly and the nasty shape our judgements of every matter based on how we feel during and after the experience. Consequently, the memory of that bad, ugly and nasty experience seem to threating us anytime we feel their might be a repeat of that experience. This threatening memory is what we call fear.
Also, information from our environment on bad, sad and very scary experiences create fear in us. These bad and scary information sit in our memory and contribute in threatening us anytime it appears we are about to face a similar experience to what we were told of or informed about.
In summary, our personal negative and awful experiences and the negative or sad information we take in, sit in our memory and threating us anytime, every time.
Fear, even according to the dictionary is a threat. It is nothing real, it’s all in the mind, it’s not a reality, it’s just a feeling, what you fear doesn’t really exist, you just feel so based on a memory not on reality.
A negative memory about a person or situation is triggered by anyone or any situation with resemblance to the one in your memory. That negative memory then triggers the emotion called fear.
Every fear is internal; an assumption and supposition of a possible outcome. It’s the thinking that if it turned out bad for you or some other person in time past, it would turn out bad again.
Every fear is a suggestion, it’s not a matter of fact; it’s a matter of thought – it’s not for real, it’s how you see it not how it really is, and unfortunately you make decisions based on what you feel not what really is, and you consequently miss out on great possibilities.
I’ve had need to counsel too many young ladies who are very much afraid of marriage; they want to get married though, but are very afraid of it. Almost all of them tie their fear to how their fathers treated their mothers. According to them, if the way their fathers treated their mothers is the way their husbands- to-be will eventually treat them; they’ll rather remain single.
Dear friend, do you realise most of the negative and bad things you do is borne out of fear? You tell lies due to fear of been discovered, you steal due to fear of being in lack, you scheme, plot, backbite and speak ill of others due to fear of losing your social relevance. You cheat out of fear of being left out.
Fear triggers your desperation for personal preservation. Nearly 80 percent of your choices and decisions today are prompted by the fear of something, they’re not based on desire or purpose.
Dear friend, the fear of a life of lack and poverty is the reason why you’re probably still enduring that very stressful employment and insensitive organisation.
Dear friends, fear is learnt, that’s why its relative, what scares me don’t scare many other people and what scares some people don’t scare me. For example you can hardly catch me outside my home after 9pm. I don’t like being outside at night, I’m not a night person. I fear being on the road at night. Some other person wouldn’t mind being out there all night long. Night and day makes no difference to them. On the other hand, I don’t know what stage fright means, I can address the whole world at once if it’s possible and you give me a microphone. I’m not afraid of stage or crowd no matter the number. Some other person may not be able to address a group of five persons, some can’t even look a beautiful lady in the face and tell her he loves her; he’ll be shaking all over. What we fear differs because fear is unique and not universal, the fear you learnt is different from the one I learnt, dear friend, your fear is learnt and the good news is you can unlearn it.
Dear friend, what you fear is not out there, it’s all in your mind, hence the battle against your fear is a battle in your mind; your battle against fear is definitely not out there.
Fear can limit you, restrict you and frustrate your potential for greatness in life. Being afraid can keep you in perpetual poverty even if there are a million and one opportunities for you to make money. When you’re afraid, you miss opportunities, advantages and promotions in life this is because life is designed to reward those who make attempt. Fear will keep you from trying and if you don’t try, you can’t possibly succeed.
Dear friend, there is so much you can do and achieve in life if you’ll just let go of your fears. Think about it now, what exactly are you afraid of today? The worst thing that can happen to anyone in this life is death and guess what, death is guaranteed, we shall all die someday. However, it is wisdom and honourable to die trying to achieve greatness than live a long life attempting nothing and registering failure. The worth of your life is measured in quality not quantity. What is the glory in playing safe for a hundred years with nothing to show for it?
The greatest deception in life is that assumption that you can actually preserve and keep yourself and preserve your own life. Ladies and gentlemen, we die every night and wake up every morning; not by choice but by divine grace and God’s mercy. So why do you think you can, by your own power, preserve your life?
Dear friend, this is definitely not a recommendation to become careless and care free with your life, it is a charge to be courageous and confident to do the right thing. You’re probably afraid to try great things because you’re afraid to fail again, but if you don’t try again your life can never be great.
Courage dear friend is not the absence of fear, courage is going ahead to do that very same thing you fear. Courage is not that determination to do what you like, but the determination to do what is right. That my friend is the lifestyle of champions and great achievers.
Don’t live a worthless, uneventful life of no positive impact and consequence. While you’re still in this world, make your season and time worthwhile. Let this generation know you came, you saw and you conquered. Don’t just make up the numbers and be another statistic, let your life count positively. Let mankind be glad you were born and let them be grateful for your life.
The greatest force against your success, purpose and destiny is this life of fear, the strongest antidote to fear is faith. What you believe eventually becomes your reality. As you think, so are you. Avoid negative people and discard negative information, delete negative memories and rewrite your memory with good and positive news, information and people.
When you absorb information about great things and great people and positive accomplishments; fear would disappear. Fear is contagious, avoid cowards. Associate with the strong, the bold and the courageous, courage is also contagious you know. Courage and faith are keys to success and greatness. Reject that spirit of fear but take on that spirit of courage, love and sound mind.
Fear makes you mentally numb and physically weak. A mind filled with fear is a sick mind. Heal it with positive believing, positive thinking and positive attitude. Dear friend, conquer your fears.
Written By: Muyiwa Afolabi