Listening isn’t an innate ability all people possess,it’s a skill we need to cultivate.
And it’s a critical one for couples, because the foundation of successful communication is being able to truly listen to each other, without “constructing a counter argument in your head.
In fact, if you and your partner are getting into frequent spats, your listening skills may be to blame, not that you chose the wrong partner or the problem is too difficult.
Also, remember that it takes two to tangle, In other words, “It’s necessary to recognize that there are two parts to any conversation,” the person doing the talking and the person who’s trying to actively listen. For you to become an active listener you don’t just listen to someone with your ears,you also listen with your body, So be sure that your eyes are on your partner and you’re leaning forward. These nonverbal cues show that you’re actually listening.
Try to eliminate all the distractions “that may influence the ability to focus on your partner,” which includes turning off your cell phone. Learn to listen to the entire discussion and summarize what your spouse said to ensure that you’re hearing “what your partner intends for you to hear.