The Seven Ages of the Married Cold True Love
1st year – The husband says, ‘Oh, darling, I’m really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There’s no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that’s been going around. I’m going to take you right down to the private hospital and have you admitted for a couple of days of rest. I know the food is good there, and I’ve already spoken to the Matron and the Hospital chef and I’ve paid the bill.
2nd year – ‘Listen, sweetie, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’ve ‘phoned the doctor and he’s going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don’t you just go to bed and get the rest you need? I’ll bring you something to eat when you’re hungry.’
3rd year – ‘Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I’ll bring you something ; do we have any canned soup around here anywhere?’
4th year – ‘No sense wearing yourself out when you’re under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids’ baths and get them to bed, you ought to go straight to bed yourself.’
5th year – ‘Why don’t you take a couple aspirin?’
6th year – ‘You ought to gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog.’
7th year – ‘For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You’d better pick up some tissues while you’re at the supermarket.’